How to Fix Low Self-Worth: 5 Therapist-Backed Strategies That Work
Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough, no matter how hard you try? Maybe you replay awkward moments in your head for days, or struggle to speak up for yourself, even when you know it would help, because you fear judgment or rejection. Low self-worth can feel like a quiet undercurrent in your life, shaping everything from your relationships to your career.
When it seems like nothing you do is enough, it’s exhausting, demoralizing, and disheartening. You may internalize failures and mistakes as proof that you’re fundamentally flawed. Criticism cuts to the bone. Rejection feels like someone is holding up a mirror and confirming your worst fears: that you’re not good enough. Over time, this can leave you feeling sad, overwhelmed, and afraid to try, worried that failure will only reinforce your pain.
Low self-worth shows up in subtle ways for many people, especially women. It might look like over-apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong, constantly putting others’ needs above your own, or avoiding risks and self-advocacy out of fear of backlash or disappointment.
These beliefs and behaviors didn’t come out of nowhere. They were learned and reinforced over time. The good news? With focus, compassion, and intention, they can be unlearned, and you can build a healthier, more grounded sense of self-worth.
How Early Experiences Shape Your Sense of Worth
Self-worth is shaped over time, influenced by our early childhood experiences, the cultural messages we absorb, and the relationships we witness and participate in. Much of this happens without our conscious awareness, especially when we’re young.
As children, we’re powerless to the adults and caregivers in our lives. We depend on them for nourishment, safety, and emotional support. We trust them to know what’s best and to meet our needs. So when a child experiences emotional neglect, harsh criticism, or trauma, they often internalize those experiences in order to make sense of them. The logic goes something like this: If this adult knows best and I feel bad, then something must be wrong with me if this adult is treating me like this or if I feel this way. Over time, that belief—that I’m bad, wrong, or don’t matter—can take root and begin to shape how a child sees themselves and the world.
Cultural messages also play a powerful role. Even when we consciously reject certain ideals, they’re often so deeply embedded in our environment that they influence how we see ourselves. In many cultures, especially for women, the messages are clear: to be worthy of love, belonging, or rest, you must be productive, selfless, emotionally controlled, and physically attractive (according to ever-shifting beauty standards). You’re expected to care for others while neglecting yourself, and to do it all effortlessly. In this environment, perfectionism thrives. It’s no wonder so many people end up feeling like they’re never quite enough.
Our early experiences and cultural surroundings often impact the relationships we seek out or stay in. And those relationships, in turn, can reinforce or further damage our sense of self-worth. The way we’re treated in romantic, familial, and professional relationships send strong signals about what we believe we deserve. Just like our caregivers served as models for love and belonging in childhood, our adult relationships continue to shape the way we see ourselves and what we believe is possible for us.
5 Steps to Start Rebuilding Self-Worth
Rebuilding a healthy sense of self-worth takes intention, self-compassion, and willingness to look inward—even when it’s uncomfortable. The way you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and relate to others all play a role in how worthy you feel at your core.
Here are five practices to help you begin that healing process:
1. Build Awareness of Your Self-Worth Wounds
The first step is noticing when and where your feelings of unworthiness show up.
When do you feel small, ashamed, or like you don’t measure up?
What situations make you question your value?
Are there patterns in your thoughts or behaviors that signal low self-worth?
Building awareness lays the foundation for change. It helps you start separating who you are from the stories you’ve been told, or have told yourself.
2. Interrupt and Challenge Your Internal Narrative
Low self-worth is often rooted in deeply held beliefs like “I’m not lovable,” “I’m too much,” or “I’m a burden.”
Begin identifying your core beliefs, especially the ones that feel familiar and painful.
Ask yourself: Where did I learn this? Is it objectively true? Would I say this to someone I love?
Replace harsh self-talk with something more grounded and gentle. Don’t jump to unrealistic affirmations, that won’t be helpful. Start with something simple such as: “Maybe I’m not as bad as I think” or “I’m learning to be kinder to myself.”
3. Practice Self-Respect Through Boundaries and Behavior
You can’t just think your way into self-worth, you also have to live it. That means treating yourself like someone who matters.
Align your actions with your values and needs.
Start with small shifts: saying no when something doesn’t feel right, taking breaks without guilt, voicing your preferences. This is all incredibly difficult, so be kind to yourself along the way.
Each time you advocate for yourself, you reinforce the belief that you deserve care and respect. Once you believe you deserve it from yourself, it will be easier to believe you deserve it from others.
4. Reconnect with Your Inner Child
Often, our deepest wounds come from early experiences where we felt unimportant, invisible, or unsafe.
Reflect on how younger versions of you learned to feel “less than.”
Offer that inner child compassion, protection, and validation, things they may not have received at the time.
Practices like journaling, visualization, or writing a letter to your younger self can help you begin to reparent those parts of you.
5. Seek Relationships That Reflect Your Worth
Even as you do the inner work, your relationships matter. The way others treat you can either reinforce or challenge your sense of self-worth.
Surround yourself with people who are consistent, kind, and emotionally safe.
Create emotional or physical distance from people who belittle, manipulate, or ignore your needs.
Healing is not just internal. It happens in the presence of healthy, supportive connections.
Therapy Can Support Your Self-Worth Journey
While the steps to rebuild self-worth may sound simple on paper, the roots of low self-worth often run deep. It can be difficult to untangle these patterns on your own, especially when they’ve been reinforced over many years.
Therapy offers a supportive space to explore where your self-worth wounds come from, make sense of your experiences, and begin to rewrite your internal narrative. It’s not just about gaining insight, it’s about being seen, heard, and valued for who you are right now, not who you think you should be.
Rebuilding self-worth is rarely a solo project. It requires support, care, and patience from both yourself and the people around you. If you're ready to feel more grounded in your worth, therapy can be a powerful and affirming step forward.
Rebuilding self-worth is not a quick fix, it’s a process. Some days will feel empowering, and others will feel like you're slipping backward. That’s part of the process. Healing is rarely linear, but it is definitely possible.
Imagine what might change if you truly believed you were enough, not because you earned it, proved it, or perfected anything, but simply because you are you. What would you try? What would you stop tolerating? How might your relationships shift?
If you’re ready to explore therapy as a way to deepen your self-worth and reconnect with your true self, I’d love to support you.